Afghanistan: Combating violence against women within families
"My husband's family treated me like an animal."
According to the study from the Afghan health ministry, more than 60% of Afghan women were forced into marriage, most of them when they were minors. Well over one half of these married women experiences physical, psychological, sexualised or emotional violence within the marriage. However, only about one third of these seek out assistance or speak to anyone about the violence they experience.
An example:
Rashida grew up in poor conditions with her brothers and sisters and their violent father in Mazar-i-Sharif. She hoped her life would improve when she was engaged to a friend of the family at the age of 15 However, her in-laws accused her of having had intercourse before the marriage. They punished her with physical violence and forced her to undergo a virginity test in a private clinic. These humiliating and degrading events shook her to such an extent that she attempted to kill herself: "Even though I was innocent, my husband's family treated me like an animal." She ended up in hospital, where she was introduced to the counsellors from Medica Afghanistan. They talked to her in an empowering, trauma-sensitive way, rousing her self-esteem and will to live: "They opened up the door to happiness for me." Additionally, the lawyers at Medica Afghanistan gave her legal support, helping her to go to court and obtain compensation.
Breaking the spiral of violence against women within families
When women decide to take legal action against the physical injuries, mutilation or rape committed on them, this is a sign of especially strong courage. When they do this, they are often thrown out of the families, prevented from seeing their children, or rejected by the courts in spite of a clear legal evidence. This accumulated pressure on the women then often leads them to drop their cases.
The need to resolve problems within the family is a very strong feature of Afghan society – although the willingness to accept external support is growing. Where it is possible to work together with family members to break the endless spirals of violence, this can open up new outlooks for all involved. Inga Weller, Country Officer for Afghanistan at medica mondiale: "Often, women see only one possibility, which is reconciling with their own family or their husband's family. So they come to Medica Afghanistan seeking counselling to help them return. The organisation provides them with support but takes care to ensure that the women are always making their own decisions in a self-determined, informed manner. So family counselling is generally conducted after an individual legal and psychosocial counselling session with the woman, and only in cases where the woman wants this."
In both family counselling and family mediation, an integrated concept from Medica Afghanistan sees lawyers, social workers, psychosocial counsellors and psychologists working hand in hand. The focus in cases of family conflicts is generally on trauma-sensitive socio-psychological counselling, but the lawyers can help the women deal with any legal issues, explaining their rights and, if desired, representing them in court. Legal mediation can also be requested in order to resolve issues such as divorce agreements, custody, maintenance and financial compensation before the family goes to court.
The family as an agent of change
For almost two decades, the situation in Afghanistan has been an ongoing state of war and crisis. Living in these conditions creates a permanent sense of stress, a daily battle to survive, and traumatic experiences for everyone. If one group, such as women, experiences disadvantage and violence even in times of peace, then in times of conflict these mechanisms are reinforced. The family counselling from Medica Afghanistan takes an intensive look at these contexts, which include gender role models that encourage violence. Step-by-step, trust and sharing between the members of the family is improved in one-to-one and group sessions. Intermediate objectives are agreed in a measurable way. The sources of stress and tension are dealt with, and reconciliation is actively assisted.
The women's interests, their protection and their empowerment are always the focus of feminist family counselling. The aim is to end the violence, bring the family members together, and establish long-lasting preventative measures against violence. This includes helping the family members to see the roles they play and explaining the devastating impacts of violence. In the best case, a family realises that peace within the family and a non-violent way of living can also have positive effects on their economic situation, as well as leading to a better society in the long term. It creates the will to change.
An example:
Bahar was forced to marry at the age of 16 and her marriage was an ordeal for the next 20 years: "I felt a terrible weight on my chest. My husband beat and raped me. We have six children together but he didn't care. I wanted to die." Bahar was suffering from severe depression and tired of living. The psychologists at Medica Afghanistan succeeded in alleviating her stress- and trauma-related symptoms during the counselling and a family counselling process also took place. As a result, Bahar discovered her own personal sources of power and strength. Her husband recognised his culpability for her poor state of health. He promised to change his behaviour and declared his desire to support his wife and children in future: "This is the first time in my life that someone has spoken with us about our problems in a way that persuaded me I have to improve my behaviour. I have begun to believe that we can solve our problems by speaking to each other instead of attacking each other."
It is not only Afghanistan whose culture places such a significant importance in the family: in other countries, too, the family can be a key "agent of change". Since the end of last year, the counsellors from Medica Afghanistan have been engaged in practical training courses and a lively exchange with the Indian women's rights organisation The International Foundation for Crime Prevention and Victim Care (PCVC). This organisation has already gained valuable practical experience with feminist family counselling, and is continuing to develop its approach further. In the current year, Medica Afghanistan will be putting its newly learnt expertise into practice within its counselling services. The plan foresees a target for 2019 of supporting at least 50 women and their families to achieve long-term peaceful ways of living together.
